My daughter, Lia Grace Tyler, was stillborn on November 24, 2007, about 2 weeks before her official due date. While we do not have confirmation about the cause of death, the attending doctor believes her cord became several twisted cutting off her blood supply. But even the physical evidence of a crushed and twisted cord does not explain why or how.
Lia was quite a dancer and loved to move around, and she had plenty of room to move since her big sisters had made for ample space in my previous pregnancies. Perhaps in all her movement the cord became tangled. Also, I was suffering from severe bronchitis during the final week of Lia's life. I had extreme coughing spasms that shook my whole body. Lia's movement would decrease right after a coughing fit - but I just figured she was taking cover from the quakes of my abdomina muscles. Of course, along with those potential issues, there are a myriad of wives tales I violated including raising my hands above my head and carrying my toddlers around.
Over the past year, through many tears and many questions, I have accepted that while the cause is known to the Lord, He has chosen in His wisdom to not reveal it to me. But my hope is not in knowing or preventing a cause. Instead, my hope has been in knowing that her life was not in vain. Lia lived exactly as long as the Lord intended. I have known many amazing people in my life, but none has affected me more or challenged me more than her little life that I never beheld with my eyes.
This blog is just a portion of the hours I have poured into my private journal. My writing has been the only way to slow the flood of emotions and give myself the time to see all that God is doing and to hear His wisdom.
My prayer is that these pages would be a source of hope to those suffering and a window into the soul for those who may not yet have experienced grief. Above all, it is my way of welcoming the world into the center of our storm. The winds have been raging around us since that snowy morning a year ago - but at the center of the storm - in the arms of the Lord - we have found a peace and joy beyond comprehension.
It has been my honor to share our story with you this year. And I thank each of you for your prayers, cards, gifts, and words of encouragement.
Blessing to each of you. May you find comfort in your afflictions in the shadow of His wing.