Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Over the past months, my mind has been busy with thoughts of my current responsibility and my body has been preoccupied with growing a new life. I was beginning to wonder if the grief had come to an end. I would often go days without thoughts of Lia or of how my life has been affected. But with the first cool breezes of Autumn, the memories, emotions, and contemplations have all returned. They have returned like a welcome friend returning from travels abroad. I am once again nightly consumed with pouring my heart into my journal and seeking the peace and solitude of my quiet room. Is it possible that grief's return can be a welcomed, familiar companion? I feel like I am finally able to continue conversations which had been cut off by the busyness of life. I almost feel like I am finding myself again. The busyness of life disrupted my view of the eternal - and that is where my daughter is - held safe in the eternal. How ironic that the mudane repetative cycle of the seasons of life and a predictable cool fall breeze would beacon my heart to look beyond to the everlasting.