Thoughts from this year's Mother's Day
Mother's Day was of course very challenging, but not in the way I expected. I thought that if I was truly being affected, I would be in a pool of tears by 6am. But instead it was until the middle of our worship service that I realized something was wrong inside of me.
A wonderful gentleman in our church lost his wife several years ago and is raising his 5 boys on his own. Every Mother's Day, he helps the kids in his 4year olds Sunday School class to make special gifts for their moms. He can be seen on Mother's Day handing roses to each of the women who serve as teachers for his boys. This year I received one. And as I sat in the pew, and the music began, I looked at the beautiful long stem rose and thought about my life. I convinced myself I had no reason to be sorrowful. Imagine those who lose their first born and are not seen as mothers by the rest of the world. I had two beautiful girls, both of whom I had been frustrated with earlier in the day. I convinced myself I had no reason to be sad.
But, as God always does, He found a way to break through my facade and reach my heart. The worship band began the song "Who Am I". I could feel my heart soften to the pain as the words of the song echoed through my mind. I began to ask again the question that had been haunting - Who Am I... am I Lia's Mom...am I a mother of 3 or a mother of 2...am I still going to have more kids....
The final line of the chorus sings - I AM YOURS. And then the tears came. I am not a list of credentials. I am not a line of children following me. I am not a resume of accomplishments and degrees. I am not a title. I belong to God and that is all that matters.
Lord thank you that my identity is not bound to anything of this world. No matter what I accomplish, no matter how many children I have, no matter where I go, no matter who my friends may be, no matter what my husband may do... the answer to the question of "Who Am I" is always the same - I Am Yours. What a blessing it is to know that the foundation of everything does not rest with me, but in You - a foundation placed before the beginning of time. Thank You.