A Cross on My Belly

We are coming up on Lia's birthday. The slew of emotions has been enormous and I can say that once again, as from the very beginning, I am constantly reminded that nothing of this world can soothe the pain of death. For that I am thankful. There are times that I wish a big ice cream dessert and a shopping spree would make everything feel better - and perhaps a purchase of new minivan. But I am thankful that each time my heart aches, I find that my only peace is found in God.

This truth however does present a challenge to me - how do we remember on earth a little life now held safe in heaven. Every book, every article, every blog presents a new and unique idea for remembering - yet none seem appropriate for us. The other day, while driving through town, I saw a cross on the side of the road - a remembrance for someone whose last moments were on that corner. I thought to myself, maybe I should just tattoo a cross on my belly with Lia's name on it. After all, it was there where she spent her final moments. My husband didn't think it was such a great idea.

So this week, as we remember the last days of our baby's life, I am praying that each memory, regardless of the pain, be shrouded in the hope of God's eternal life. And I trust that God will guide each step of every day - just as He did one year ago - carrying us through the storm. I do not know the waves that will crash over me in the days to come. But my good Father in heaven knows the path we are to take. He knows exactly what we need to remember Lia- in honor and in hope. He will guide us in remembering her just as He did one year ago.