If the LORD had not been on our side...the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, the raging waters would have swept us away. Psalm 124
I have always known the Lord was on my side - but perhaps only in a tolerable way. Perhaps He was only obligated to "get my back" when I was surrounded by deadly enemies - often of my own making. God always felt like a superhero sweeping in to save me -the damsel in distress who once again somehow got herself tied to a railroad track by the common villain.
But in my grief I have come to understand that the Lord truly is on my side at all times. His gentle voice whispering in my ear and giving me peace. He has been the vessel of rescue when I am drowning in grief, pulling me up from the waves when I didn't even know help was there. He has been the mighty warrior entering into the dark deadly recesses of my soul where unquenchable fire of grief burned. He has been the invisible company in an empty room, gently rebuking me for my sin when I was overcome with jealously for another mother's joy. And He has been the voice of wisdom giving whispers of caution when difficult, unexpected moments are about to occur - almost like a sign on the road warning me of dangerous curves or falling rocks ahead.
A dear friend told me yesterday that she was sad for me - not sorry for me, but sad for me. She said she couldn't be sorry for me because I so clearly had the Lord in my life. With the Lord on our side, we will still have times for sadness and grief just as Martha and Mary with Jesus beside them grieved the death of their brother. But we who grieve in the Lord are not sorry souls, for in our grief we come to know the Lord who is on our side.
Oh Lord, Maker of heaven and earth - thank You Lord for having mercy and humbling Yourself to be on my side. Thank You Lord for the many times You have defended me against the attacks of evil. Thank You Lord for the immeasurable number of times You have directed me away from danger in the moment by moment decisions of my day. You are the God of Eternity and the Lord of every minute. Thank You Lord most of all that You are on my side not just in the heat of battle but in the quiet moments of the burning soul.